Holistic Discipline

Matthew Benton’s problems started in middle school: marijuana, shoplifting, cutting class. Then Matthew, 15, broke into a neighbor’s apartment, stole checks, and bought cocaine.

canada goose outlet parka Both his parents, Susie and Joe, are teachers, and Canada Goose Online they feel like failures. They used to think of themselves as good parents. „Doesn’t seem like we’re very good parents now, not very effective parents anyway,” says Joe. canada goose outlet parka

canada goose Canada Goose Coats On Sale outlet store uk So they are trying a new treatment program. canada goose uk black friday 42 year old Jackie Conyers is a counselor in an innovative and intense treatment program that Charleston’s courts order for their toughest cases. Susan Spencer reports. canada goose outlet store uk

canada goose black friday sale He admits to her that he has been smoking marijuana and cocaine, spending $150 a week on drugs. He gets the money, he Canada Goose sale says, from stealing, mostly from his parents. So far, nothing’s gotten through: Not jail time, not therapy, not buy canada goose jacket even an expensive wilderness boot camp. canada goose black friday sale

canada goose outlet nyc „Boot canada goose outlet camps don’t really work for kids,” says Jackie. „Because you have other kids in boot camps who are negative peers. And when you say throw the kid in jail for 24 hours, 48 canada goose coats hours, what are you doing? You’re throwing them in with kids who have been in similar situations as themselves. So that’s not helping.” canada goose outlet nyc

Those programs change nothing at home, which is what Jackie plans to do. canada goose clearance The program is called Multi Systemic Therapy (MST), and its results are amazing. Studies show that a year after completing MST, kids have 40 percent fewer arrests than kids in comparable programs. And while locking an offender up cost the state $40,000 a year, MST averages only $5500.

canada goose outlet store The key to changing behavior, Jackie says, is intensive work, not just with the kids, but with every influence in their lives: their neighbors, teachers, friends, and especially their parents. canada goose outlet store

Often, Jackie says, parents are surprised to find out how much effort goes into changing their behavior, not their kids’.

canada goose outlet black friday canadian goose jacket For the next 6 months, Jackie will be in the Benton’s home nearly every day. canada goose outlet black friday

canada goose outlet sale Joe admits that he and his wife have been too „wishy washy” with their son. No more: together, Joe, Susie and Jackie draft a no nonsense behavior plan for Matthew and for themselves. canada goose outlet sale

Now, Matt will submit to random drug tests.

canada goose outlet online Now, if he breaks a rule, he pays a price. For https://www.getcanadagooseoutlet.com minor violations, like being rude, he might lose TV or phone privileges. Major violations could mean jail time. canada goose outlet online

official canada goose outlet uk canada goose Compliance can earn rewards: a movie, or perhaps a visit with a friend. The key is consistency, which was lacking in the past. „We want to work on not letting him slide,” says Jackie. official canada goose outlet

The Bentons are encouraged when Matt obligingly signs the contract. But jail is his only other option, and Jackie thinks she’s seen this act before.

„I was watching his facial expression as his mom was reading through the behavior contract. I could just see that you know in his mind he’s going yeah in your dreams,” says Jackie.

goose outlet canada In fact, the not so sweet side of Matt was obvious as soon as the terms of the contract were laid out. It happened right after a therapy session on his parents wedding canada goose uk outlet anniversary. He’d already admitted he stole checks to buy drugs, but swore no one else was involved. goose outlet canada

I saw the checks that were written and not all the signatures on those checks are Matt’s. Two of the checks were Canada Goose Jackets signed with a very different handwriting from the other checks//he hasn’t been you know honest with us about that.

canada goose outlet Jackie tells them to confront their son. When they do, he reacts angrily, refusing to tell them who else was involved. The confrontation ends without him revealing anything. canada goose outlet

The next time he and his parents go before the judge, Joe and Susie didn’t mention that he has lied.

canada goose outlet in usa While Matthew is happy, Jackie is very disappointed. Mortified that the confrontation happened in front of TV cameras, Susie seems to feel that was punishment enough for Matt. canada goose outlet in usa

canada goose outlet canada Says Jackie: „These parents want to make sure that Matt’s happy and Matt still loves them and doesn’t think their these terrible people. So it’s going to be challenging Canada Goose online job on my part to help them see that your child will still love canada goose black friday sale you even though you’re enforcing rules and being cheap canada goose uk the parent you need to be.” canada goose outlet canada

Jackie says there have to be consequences for actions, or the therapy won’t work.

canada goose outlet uk sale „It’s almost like he’s the parent, you’re the kids. And we need to flip Canada Goose Outlet that role around,” Jackie told Susie. canada goose outlet uk sale

„Well, it is canada goose clearance sale very often that he’s in charge,” Susie admitted.

The Bentons reluctantly agree and go back before the judge, who, Canada Goose Parka when the lying is exposed, sends Matthew to detention for 48 hours. He says he is shocked: „I didn’t think I was going to go to jail for lying to my parents.”

canada goose outlet uk Two weeks later, at home, now he’s on his best behavior. Jail, Jackie thinks, effectively made the point that MST is serious: actions cheap Canada Goose will have consequences. canada goose outlet uk

canada goose outlet online uk Joe and Susie say their son has been much better. Matt has been so well behaved that his parents haven’t had to do much enforcing. They say thanks to MST, they’ve gone from wishy washy to determined. canada goose outlet online uk

canada canada goose factory sale goose jacket outlet Matt is „a work in progress,” Jackie says, but the emphasis now is on progress: „His words say I want to do the right thing. His actions are saying I want to do the right thing. canada goose store But we’ll see.” The process, she says, takes a long time canada goose jacket outlet.